{anchor} ⚓️ July 2014

 "Wherefore, whoso believeth in God might with surety hope for a better
world, yea, even a place at the right hand of God, which hope cometh
of faith, maketh an anchor to the souls of men, which would make them
sure and steadfast, always abounding in good works, being led to
glorify God." (Ether 12:4)

I've never seen an anchor. I imagine they are pretty big. Pretty
heavy. They keep ships in place. Big ships. But even when the anchor
is down, the ship can still sway. The gospel is my anchor. The gospel
is the anchor to millions of people around the world. But I still
sway. I still see people sway. If god wants us to return to him why
does he allow us to sway? God has given us the greatest gift of all
and that gift is his son Jesus Christ. Our older brother. Jesus Christ
came to the earth and died for us. He died for us so we could return
to our Heavenly Fathers presence. How? Through the gift of repentance,
and through Jesus Christ atonement. God didn't send us to this earth
to be perfect. He sent us to this earth to gain a body. To learn good
and bad. To experience happiness and hardship. Many people ask why me?
Why does god give me hard trials? Why are my trials harder then my
neighbors? I will tell you why I think. I think it's because he trusts
you. He doesn't expect us to be perfect. He wants us to hope. Believe
in him and hope. Hope for a better future. Have faith. Be steadfast
and immovable. Stick your anchor in the ground and don't let it sway.
And if you sway repent. Turn to The Lord. He is our father. He wants
to hear from us. When we don't talk to him he misses us. Pray to him
daily. No matter where you are from. No matter what religion you are.
I know with my whole heart he loves each one of us. He wants to help.
Just pray. Let him be your anchor. My challenge to you is to thank
Heavenly Father for your trials. Instead of complaining. Thank him for
making you stronger. It took me along time to figure that out.
Remember everybody makes mistakes. You don't have to repent for the
same mistake you made five years ago over and over. Even the very best
people make mistakes. We are human. A quote that relates to me goes
like this, "the moment you are ready to quit is usually the moment
when a miracle happens, don't give up." I am so grateful I didn't give
up. I am grateful I turned to The Lord in my most difficult time and
that decision got me on a mission. I'm not where I need to be but I
thank Heavenly Father I'm not where I used to be.

{reasons|seasons} Summer 2014

"To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under
the heaven: A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and
a time to pluck up that which is planted; A time to kill, and a time
to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up; A time to weep,
and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance; A time to
cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to
embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing; A time to get, and a
time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away; A time to rend,
and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak; A time
to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace."
-Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

I have always had a strong belief that everything happens for a
reason. I believe everyone we meet we needed or they needed us. I
believe every place we go isn't by accident. Being a missionary
sometimes you ask yourself why? I will tell you why, because it's gods
plan. I got a phone call from president: Sister Lee The Lord has
called you to train. I hang up. My heart pounds. I'm not prepared. Why
me? I am weak. I pray. Transfers come. We are sitting in a room. They
walk in. I see her. I am terrified. She is from china. "Sister Lee
with Sister Wang" we stand up. We hug. My heart is full of love. We
eat. I take her home. We get to flushing, she says it's like china.
She loves it. I teach her English. She teaches me Chinese. We lack
communication. We laugh. We cry. She loves me. I love her. She is
training me. I pray. I thank The Lord. Sister Wang didn't need me, I
needed her. We grow together. Companions are sent to us for a divine
purpose. Some we get along with better than others. But in some way
they are all the same. The Lord knows what you need when you need it.
I needed Sister Wang. She teaches me obedience, faith, love, patience.
She helps me be a better missionary.

{concrete jungle} 2014|2015

 

"For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also." -3 Nephi 13:21

Buildings everywhere. Tall buildings. No mountains. I miss the
mountains, the snow, hiking, fresh air, the stars. So many noises,
planes, trains, buses, and honking. Views. Beautiful views. Flushing,
New York isn't the same as Kamas, Utah. I miss my home, my family. I
walk outside and look around. I watch people. So many different types
of people, but we all came from the same place. I love New York. Six
months in flushing and it is my home. My treasure is in Utah. So my
heart is in Utah. My treasure is also in New York. My treasure with
always be in New York. A part of my heart will forever be in New York.
I look through the fence at the train track. Trash, graffiti. It's my
favorite view of flushing. So many different cultures. Chinese,
Korean, Russian, Spanish, Americans. All in the same place. I realize
how diverse flushing is. I talk to people on the street and they say,
"you aren't from around here are you?" They assume New Yorkers aren't
friendly. I talk to them. They seem friendly. I've never been to a big
city. It's different, exciting, new. I don't feel like a stranger
anymore. To me this is my home. It's the home of so many others
wanting to know what's next. Some happy, sad, angry, confused, lonely,
but all want the same thing. Somebody to love them. I love them. The
buildings replace the mountains, the buses replace the crickets. I am
home.

{overcoming obstacles} 2/5/14

"Through the gospel of Jesus Christ the family can be sealed together
in a permanent relationship for time and all eternity." -D&C 132

I lived across the street from my grandparents for nine years. We
moved in when I was nine years old. My favorite food is pickles. When
I was younger I would always run over to grandpas house and say,
"grandpa do you have a pickle?" We would then sit there and eat our
pickles together and laugh. As I grew up all the way through high
school he would ask me, "Madi want a pickle?" It was our thing. We had
so many laughs together. We joked together. He never had favorites. He
loved all his children and grandchildren. I said goodbye to him on
that cold December morning not knowing I wasn't going to see him again
in this life. I woke up excited. It's P-Day and I get to talk to my
family! We study. We eat breakfast. I go to the computer lab. I have
an email from mom: "please do not talk to anyone I will call you
soon." Call me? My heart pounds. I email my sister she tells me to
calm down. I go to the front desk. The phone rings. The man looks at
me, sister lee? I start to cry. He hangs up. He tells me everything
will be alright to take a seat. I wait. One hour later, "sister lee
please come with me," I go. They sit me down. "Sister Lee how are you
today?" I am frustrated because I just want to know. "Sister Lee we
just talked to your mother and she has informed us that your
grandfather Jack has passed away." Tears streaming down my face. "Were
you close to him?" I nod. They give me words of comfort, " we get
these calls many times here at the MTC and we believe it's because
these family members are your guardian angels. They want to go on this
journey with you." The conversation ends and I leave. Sister Durtschi
knows and nods. She knew exactly how to handle it. We went to the
temple. I stand up to go to the celestial room. I lose it. I get in
there and I am overcome with the spirit. I know my grandpa is with me.
I decide to leave because I am making to much noise. I am stopped by a
couple.
"Sister what is wrong, are you okay?"
"My grandfather has passed away."
"Have you talked to your parents?"
"No" I said confused as if that was an option
"I work at the MTC you go back and call them and tell them I gave you
permission, I will call down there right away and inform them."
I leave. Tender mercy. I go to the office. They are expecting me. They
put me in a room. Me, Sister Durtschi, and the phone. I remember my
moms telephone number. I press call. She answers, I cry. They are all
there with grandma. They put me on speaker. I feel peace. At this
instant I am grateful for my family. I am grateful I was raised in
this gospel. And I know families are forever.
Five days later I go to the airport. It's the day of the funeral. I
call grandma Carol. She cries. She is lonely. She doesn't want me to
come home because she knows my mission out here is more important. I
call my mom. We talk about everything. I am excited to go to New York.
I know this is where I need to be, and I now know grandpa is with me.
Valentines day, the mail comes. I get a letter from grandma. It is my
first letter from just her. I open it. It's from my grandpa. I read
it, I cry. Grandma writes, "My darling Maddy, I want you to know
grandpa wrote this to you two days before he left us. I don't want to
make you sad but I know it would mean the world to you. He loved you
and is so proud of you. Grandma." I am overwhelmed. I again pray
harder and longer then I have before. I know this gospel is true and I
know through it families are forever. I know I will see my grandpa
again.

{new beginnings} 12/11/13

 "LOOK NOT BEHIND THEE." -Genesis 19:17

I'm here. Tears are running down my face as I look around me. I
quickly realize everybody else is happy. I wipe them away and put on
that fake smile I learned so well in high school. I just said goodbye
to my family. The Provo temple was so pretty this morning. There was
no snow just steam coming from the fountain. I've never been away from
home and I just entered into a brand new lifestyle. I walk into the
building. They hand me a tag to put on my chest. The moment that kids
have been dreaming of their whole life's and for me a decision I had
made five months earlier. I walk into a classroom. They are speaking a
language I don't understand. Others come in and I soon find I'm not
alone. We get through the day. I go to my room. I lay on the bed and I
think to myself what have I done. I pray. I pray harder and longer
then I ever have in my life. I'm comforted, but I still ask myself why
am I here. Days go by. I get a letter from dad telling me how great
everyone is and how much they love and miss me. My brothers miss me. I
cry. I again ask myself why am I here? Is this worth being away from
my family. Missing my nephews grow. Missing my brothers wrestle. We
have a devotional. I am overcome with the spirit. I receive my answer.
I am here because of my love for the savior, he gave his life for me
so I could return to him one day. I'm sacrificing eighteen months of
being away from my family so others can be with theirs forever.
Eighteen months is just a small thing when you look at eternity. It is
worth it because now I know why I am here.

{the call} 10/23/13

"And this gospel shall be preached unto every nation, and kindred, and tongue, and people." -D&C 133:37

I got to work. The mail comes. My mom brings it to me. I cant open it. We are meeting at my sisters tonight, seven thirty. I am anxious. Where am I going? I think about my childhood. Elementary school, I take speech lessons. My family tells me I speak Chinese. My uncle Jeff sings, "Hatoya likes a Chinese food do da do da." Middle school, Hillary and I say we are going to New York University. We get Pickle jars and count our change. Eight grade, they only offer Chinese. Ninth grade, I try Spanish. I don't speak Spanish. High school, I take three more years of Chinese. Junior year of high school, I send my ACT scores to NYU. They write me, I receive mail. My mom says no. I get off work. I drive the hour to my sisters house with the letter in my lap. I tell my mom I am staying in America. She laughs. I tell my mom I am speaking Chinese. She again smiles, laughs, and nods. Everyone comes in. We sit down. All eyes on me. Cameras on. I am shaking. I open the envelope. I read. I cry. Sister Madison Lee you have been called to serve in the New York New York south mission you report December 11. You will prepare to teach people in the Mandarin Chinese language. Everyone claps. I am so excited. It all makes sense. Everything in my life has led up to this point. I have seven weeks. we begin to work. We begin to pray. We rely on the lord. I write my acceptance letter. The lord knows where we are supposed to go. Trust him.

{a little bit about me} 7/9/14

My name is Madison Lee. I am twenty years old. I am currently serving a mission in the New York New York south mission. I will be serving from 12/13-6/15. I am from Utah. Born and raised in Draper. Graduated from Alta high school in 2012. My family moved to Kamas after I graduated. I love to be outside. I love to camp, four wheel, hike, fish. I also love to watch movies and to be with my family. My family is the most important thing in the world to me. My parents just celebrated their twenty-fifth anniversary. I have an older sister named Mckenzie who is married to Cody Moffat, they have two sons Dakota and Carson. Those two boys hold my heart. I have an older sister named Shelby who is married to Steve Cyr. I have two younger brothers, Matthew is sixteen and Jedediah who is thirteen. My best friends. I like to do sports but sometimes would rather be the cheerleader on the side line. I love to read and listen to music. I like to talk. I talk more then I should at times. I love to get to know people.
I never wanted to go on a mission. I always thought god had a different plan for me. Before my mission I wasn't always going to church or reading my scriptures. Last summer I decided that maybe a mission was the next step. I prayed hard and long. I decided to go. I love my mission. It is the best decision I have ever made. I have grown so much. I now have a relationship with my father in Heaven and his son Jesus Christ. I have read the Book of Mormon and I know that Joseph Smith was our first prophet in this final dispensation. I am proud to say I belong to the church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day saints.